Amy Adams

Perfect and Complete

“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” James 1:2-4 (KJV)

“ Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4 (NIV)

I have always believed that it was impossible to be perfect, that only Jesus was perfect. What if that’s a cop out we have been led to believe because people didn’t want to put in the effort to be perfect? And if this statement is true, it has led countless people to believe that it couldn’t be done over the last 2,000 years, diverting many from the narrow path Jesus asked His followers to take. When I say perfect, I mean free from sin, which is as perfect as perfect can be. We live in a fallen world of people who have been led to believe that sin is normal because of the fallen world we live in, but in fact, sin is abnormal from when God first created Adam and Eve. The world was perfect when God created us. Adam and Eve brought sin into this world, which has tainted man ever since. The same Spirit that works miracles in people’s lives not only has the ability to change us for the better but change us completely to the point that we are perfect and whole, just like Christ was when He walked the earth.

Taking a closer look at James 1:4, I noticed that when it said the word perfect, it meant just that: perfect. It is the Greek word teleios which also means brought to its end, finished; wanting nothing necessary to completeness; that which is perfect (consummate human integrity and virtue). Now James doesn’t say exactly how long this process lasts and I can tell you from personal experience that it fully depends on your character in the beginning, your willingness to say no and deny yourself throughout the process. Most importantly, it is dependent on your ability to listen to the Holy Spirit and be obedient to God. This process of being made perfect isn’t easy and will take years for most people, but my point is that it’s not impossible like most people claim it is.

What is the word entire in the Greek?Holokleros. That one is a little harder to argue what James is talking about when he’s talking about being perfect and entire. It means complete in all its parts; a body without blemish (whether of a priest); free from sin, faultless; complete in all respects. The word entire compounds on the word perfect, leaving no wiggle room for what James was trying to convey about the arduous journey of becoming perfect and entire.

People have always told me that it takes a lifetime of following Christ to come to full maturity and be perfect through Christ. It’s when you die is when you’re finally made perfect in Christ, but I don’t think that’s the case at all. Otherwise, why would James say it this way? I doubt very much that he wouldn’t say it like that if he wasn’t talking from personal experience about his journey to perfection and being made perfect in Christ. It is important to keep in mind that this process of perfection can only come through knowing the Holy Spirit, who gives you that relationship with God. We cannot in our own strength be made perfect, but only through the guidance and direction of the Holy Spirit. Another verse in 2 Peter talks about steps to practice into becoming perfect like Christ when Christ is in you.

“Everything we could ever need for life and godliness has already been deposited in us by his divine power. For all this was lavished upon us through the rich experience of knowing Him who has called us by name and invited us to come to Him through a glorious manifestation of His goodness. As a result of this, He has given you magnificent promises that are beyond all price, so that through the power of these tremendous promises we can experience partnership with the divine nature, by which you have escaped the corrupt desires that are of the world. So devote yourselves to lavishly supplementing your faith with goodness, and to goodness add understanding, and to understanding add the strength of self-control, and to self-control add patient endurance, and to patient endurance add godliness, and to godliness add mercy toward your brothers and sisters, and to mercy toward others add unending love. Since these virtues are already planted deep within, and you possess them in abundant supply, they will keep you from being inactive or fruitless in your pursuit of knowing Jesus Christ more intimately.” 2 Peter 1:3-8

Why would these apostles venture to be so bold to say these things if they weren’t possible? They wouldn’t. It is more than possible and even probable that as you grow in Christ, come to know Him more intimately, and be “doers of the word and not hearers only,” (James 1:22) it is possible for you to live a life of perfection, a life without sin. I am not discounting how hard the journey will be to a life of perfection and sinlessness. It will be hard and there will be tears and Christ will expose every single area of your life that makes you sinful and disgusting in your eyes, but know this: He loves you as you are and wants nothing more than to make you love yourself as He loves you by transforming you into the person He saw from the very beginning when He first created you.

If this is still not enough to convince you that you are supposed to live a “perfect” life like Jesus did, Jesus Himself even said to be perfect. I find it to be no coincidence whatsoever that as I was reading the book of Matthew last night with my daughter that I came across this verse when He was preaching the Sermon on the Mount: “You therefore must be perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect.” Matthew 5:48 (ESV). There you have it. Straight from the Messiah’s mouth Himself. This was talking about loving your enemies. I feel like that is the hardest pill for anyone to swallow when it comes to His teachings. It’s so easy to hate them but so hard to love them and see them through the eyes of Christ.

Focusing on Christ ultimately leads to perfection. Only by your obedience and willingness to be made “perfect and entire” can the Holy Spirit lead you to living a glorious life of serving Him and His heavenly kingdom. We are to be imitators of Christ and not just fans. If we are to be imitators, how can we not be perfect like He was? We can’t. He puts us back to the way we were in the beginning in the garden of Eden, before Adam and Eve sinned. Isn’t that really something wonderful to know?! I think so. Pray to God about this and get His direction and He will show you the way to the “narrow path” to perfection! Below are some more scripture the Holy Spirit has led me to so I can back up this claim.

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me.No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:12-14 (NLT)

So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then.But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy.For the Scriptures say, “You must be holy because I am holy.” 1 Peter 1:14-16

“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.” 2 Timothy 3:16, 17

A Thousand Years Is As A Day

“But beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.” 2 Peter 3:8-10 (KJV)

I have been doing a lot of thinking about Genesis and the creation of the world in only 7 days, or a 24 hour period like we would normally call a day. I feel like the Holy Spirit has been illuminating some things recently that has led me to believe that in the beginning, a day was not just a 24 hour period but actually a period of 1,000 years. To me, that seems to make more sense because creating the sun, the moon, the stars and the planets would take a lot longer to create than a 24 hour period, or at least that’s what I think because of how patient He has been in renewing me. That’s more His character than quick and instantaneous, not that He’s not capable of being instantaneous either. Look at the trees and rivers, not to mention the wonders of this world. Erosion in its own respect takes thousands of years for water to dig a hole through the ground. God is very patient and would not rush things to fit into what we would consider a day or a 24 hour period.

“In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And the earth was without form and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. And God called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day. And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so. And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day.” Genesis 1:1-8 (KJV)

I feel like to get the atmosphere or firmament just right to sustain life would take longer than a 24 hour period. The slightest change in our ozone layer would be catastrophic to life on this planet. The radiation from the sun alone would kill us. That protective layer took a lot of thought and creativity to get it just right. The firmament is also mentioned to be draped over us like a blanket, which is why the sun and the moon is bigger when they rise and set. You can also think of it as a giant lens. There’s no way evolution could have possibly happened to the point of creating an atmosphere for us to thrive in. So right away, on the second “day,” that completely takes out the idea that evolution is even a possibility.

“And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place (Pangea), and let the dry land appear: and it was so. And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called He Seas: and God saw that it was good. And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good. And the evening and the morning were the third day.” Genesis 1:9-13 (KJV)

After the second “day” comes the third “day” where dry ground starts to appear out of seemingly nothing and nowhere. If you have watched plants grow, you know that it takes a lot longer than 24 hours for a seed to push through the soil. It takes days and weeks and sometimes even months depending on the specific plant. For trees, it takes years and decades for them to become full grown and reach maturity. Some trees, like the bristlecone pine in California, have even been around for almost 5,000 years, which incredibly enough is very close to when they estimate the time of the flood would have been. And recently, I came across a video that said that a lot of mesas and butte’s are not rock formations, but actually gigantic trees that were knocked down to leave stumps and petrified around the time of the flood. If that is in fact true, which I believe it is, then those trees would have taken thousands of years to get that big to leave stumps that size. Devil’s Tower in Wyoming is one example of what I believe to be a petrified tree trunk.

“And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years: and let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so. And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: He made the stars also. And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth, and to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good. And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.” Genesis 1:14-19 (KJV)

Then comes the fourth “day” with the creation of the Sun and the Moon. These two bodies of lights are very special. The Sun gives light and life to everything on this planet. Without it, we wouldn’t be able to function physically and the plants wouldn’t be able to grow at all. The moon controls the ocean tides and devoid of the moon, this world wouldn’t have anything to regulate the tides. If both the Sun and the Moon were any closer or any further away, life on Earth would be impossible. God had to get both of them just the right distance away from us, otherwise life wouldn’t be viable.

“And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven. And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good. And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth. And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.” Genesis 1:20-23 (KJV)

The fifth day is when things start to get interesting. That’s when He makes the birds and all sea life. There are no longer just plants, land, and water on the earth but living creatures that breathe air and/or water. That’s when the earth really started to come to life. Every kind of bird, from the hummingbird to the ostrich was flying and walking the planet. From the tiniest algae to the largest whale was swimming the seas. There’s even talk of a huge leviathan creature mentioned in the book of Job, all of which was created by the Lord. (Job 41:1-8)

“And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so. And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good. And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them…And God saw every thing that He made, and behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.” Genesis 1: 24-27,31

Finally, the 6^th day or 6,000 years, comes all the land mammals, reptiles, etc. on the planet. I have a feeling that somewhere in between the 5,000 and 6,000 years, God probably made bugs and amphibians too. Not exactly sure where they fit in but I know bees and birds are crucial to pollination, though their part might not have been as crucial in the beginning. This last part is speculation but I really feel like all of this had to take place before mankind could walk the earth.

Man finally comes onto the scene after everything else. God saved His most prized creation for last; His children: Adam and Eve. I feel like on his rest “day,” they were able to spend 1,000 years with God before the serpent tempted Eve in the garden. God wanted to give them choice and the serpent or devil took full advantage of the situation after he was thrown down from heaven. I also know that if they ate from the Tree of Life, in essence, they would have been immortal, therefore, they wouldn’t have aged as long as they were eating from the Tree of Life. There have always been quests for this specific tree and I believe at one point it was on this planet but I also believe God might have taken it out with the flood to prevent man from finding it and eating from it again.

And now the thing that has been bothering me that I haven’t been able to figure out until the Holy Spirit just revealed it to me was that evening is ʿereḇ in Hebrew and can mean more than just evening. It can also mean days or evenings and ‘ereb referred to as such in Leviticus 15:19, Deuteronomy 16:4, Daniel 8:14, and Daniel 8:26. The next word to consider is morning. That one is a little more straightforward which is bōqer, which is day in Hebrew. Only when it is paired with ʿereḇ does it mean days like it is mentioned in the previous verses I just mentioned. Then word yôm in Hebrew is day, but it also means time, period, days, years, leading me to believe that when you look more deeply at the text and don’t take the word at face value like it is in English, it leaves open the possibility that it wasn’t just talking about a 24 hour period in Hebrew. The Hebrew language is a lot richer because it is an idea based language and one word has multiple meanings.

I am still growing on my walk with Christ and feel strongly that after getting to know His character more and more, I firmly believe that my God is not a God who rushes things. I whole heartedly believe that creation took a lot longer than a 7 day period, especially with the rate that plants and animals grow today. Before the flood, the atmosphere was different because of the lack of water pressure and before the flood, things were able to live longer and grow bigger than they can nowadays. If it took Adam almost a thousand years to die after eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, it’s not that much of a stretch to consider that all of creation took thousands of years to become fully mature than a few days. Pray about this and don’t just take my word for it and let the Word reveal this mystery to you too.

Great Basin Bristlecone Pine (Oldest tree in the world)

Struggles and Victories

No longer will the enemy block me,

Nothing in heaven or earth will stop me

As long as God’s got me

Complaining anymore is out of the question;

Doing that these last few years have taught me major lessons

I’m breaking off the idols with Yah’s help too,

In a sincere effort to just get closer to You

The Most High is breaking strongholds

And busting me out of my old mold

All things are made new with Yahweh’s Spirit inside of me,

Holding tight to His hand as He leads and guides me;

Getting me closer to the person He created me to be

Praise be to Yeshua, the One who set me free!

Renew

“He gives power to the faint; and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary and the young men shall utterly fall; But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint.” -Isaiah 40:29-31 (NKJV)

The definition of renew is resume (an activity) after an interruption; re-establish; give fresh life or strength; revive; replace. I have had more than my fair share of encounters where God has had to renew my strength and make me into a “new creation.” He is a God of revival and a God of re-establishing people who had everything taken from them by the enemy. Renewing people is His specialty but He is also a God who originally brought something new out of nothing, which is all of creation as we know it. He speaks and life bursts forth.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.” -Psalm 51:10 (NKJV)

God is the Creator of all things, so it makes sense that He is more than happy to create a “clean heart” in us and renew our spirit within us when we have strayed off course a little or completely recreate us when we encounter Him for the first time after never knowing Him at all. God speaks and life appears. God is in the business of giving life to those who ask for it and creating things out of nothingness. The fall of man is what causes everyone to stray off course from our original calling to the life God originally had in mind for us. “No on can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day.” John 6:44. For me, in 2018 I was a really bad alcoholic with crippling depression. After a couple of months of doing nothing but basically sleeping and drinking, I got out of my depression. He renewed my strength! I know now that it was God who took that spirit of depression out of me because afterwards, I had this strong urge to start going to church.

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” -Isaiah 43:19, 20 (ESV)

Becoming a “new creature in Christ” has been an experience that is hard to describe, especially when I experienced a new addiction pop up shortly after meeting God. I was still very ignorant and unaware of the “schemes of the enemy.” I started doing kratom to help with muscle soreness after working out and it turned into an addiction to where it was literally the first thing I thought about when I woke up, all before even praying or talking to God. That in turn, made kratom a major idol and God does not tolerate idols very well, nor should He because He should always be first in your life when you have a legitimate relationship with Him.

Long story short, it was a rough battle but the battle with my addiction to kratom was won ONLY because God helped renew me and gave me the strength to come off of it. Without Him, I wouldn’t have stopped using it. The plant is legal, sold at most privately owned gas stations and doesn’t impair you like alcohol or weed does. It does however, wreak havoc on your limbic system which was another reason the Holy Spirit told me He didn’t want me taking it anymore. It took a few tries, but He finally freed me from that addiction just like He did with cigarettes. An addiction to cigarettes have been a generational curse in my family: my mom died from lung cancer, my pap died from complications with COPD after getting pneumonia, and my great uncle died from both lungs eventually collapsing because he refused to quit smoking after the first lung collapsed. Cigarettes are the strongest addiction He has broken off of me, even stronger than kratom, meth, heroin, or weed.

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” -Romans 12:1, 2 (NKJV)

It has been a slow transition in my renewal process, but one that has been noticeable by my fruits. My fruits of Him being in my life are my freedom from my addictions, especially cigarettes. A work that has shown up in my life through faith has been writing and playing music again. Even though I second guess at times if I ever knew God because of how subtle my transformation has been, I know after thinking on these last 3 years that I have been in the presence of the Most High. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, the hand of God has been on my life, though subtle, it’s certain I have been redeemed and renewed. I feel however that now more than ever, there are more and more spirits out there trying to sound like Him to people astray and discernment is critical if you don’t want to be swayed from the path God has chosen for your life. I have a strong discernment and most people can’t lie to me without me being able to tell and most deceitful spirits can’t sway me without me figuring it out first. Cultivating that gift was a struggle with lots of trial and error, but I am happy to have it now. I remember Him asking me about what spiritual gifts I wanted and remember Him saying discernment was a difficult gift to receive and now I can see why.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” -2 Corinthians 5:17

This verse is particularly true for my reaction to the drugs I once used to enjoy. “Old things” being the way drugs and alcohol used to make me feel whole and comfortable. I used to feel satiated and satisfied after drinking, used to be satisfied after taking kratom, after doing meth, after smoking a cigarette, smoking weed etc. but now, none of those things satisfy like they used to because I have experience the True Source and it is God Almighty. “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who trust in Him!” Psalm 34:8 I always thought that verse was weird until I experienced the high of the Holy Spirit and every other high I have ever experienced pales in comparison to the clean and pure high of the Holy Spirit. I implore you to seek God out for yourself and experience His glorious presence and let Him strip away the things in your life that you thought made you feel whole and replace it with Himself, renewing you into the person He originally created you to be.

Unusual Gifts From God

“Make a joyful shot to the Lord, all you lands! Serve the Lord with gladness; Come before His presence with singing. Know that the Lord, He is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations.” Psalm 100:1-5

Most people know God as the gift giver of salvation, but how about just being an all around giver of gifts? Some people call those gifts blessings but sometimes, the things God gives me and others doesn’t fit into the category of blessings. A blessing is God’s favor and protection while a gift is a thing given willingly by someone without payment. God loves to give His children gifts; salvation is the main one most are familiar with but there are so many others God gives to His children that are tailored to each of our wants and needs.

The main thing that spurred me to write this blog is my secret yearning for music that sounded like trap rap but was all about Jesus. I sometimes had trouble stomaching the words to trap rap when I was lost in sin and the secular music scene but always got down with listening to trap rap. Ever since I met God, it is impossible for me to listen to trap rap without hearing the evil pouring out of the lyrics and the demonic influence behind them. It definitely hurts my spiritual ears, but I always really liked the beat behind trap rap and had been subconsciously praying to come across a Christian rapper that had a trap rap beat and came across that individual today as I was randomly skimming YouTube. Isaiah Ramos was doing a testimony on Delafe Testimonies on YouTube and I looked up his band name “MTM Isaiah” and the moment I started listening, knew it was God that had set up this divine encounter! It wasn’t quite as rough of a beat as trap rap but it had some decent bass and growing up around rap and dub step, I have always had a thing about listening to deep bass in music and God delivered on my unintentional request.

“Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart, Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.” Psalm 37:4:5

God has also given me a certain set of clouds as a gift when I am having a rough morning or a rough day. He will put cirrocumulus clouds right above my house or wherever I am at the time. I’ve noticed that they are literally right above my head and nowhere else in the sky and they usually happen on a morning when I need to know He’s right there or if I’m having a rough time. I have always likened them to Him being a gentleman and sending me flowers to let me know He cares, except the flowers are clouds! It’s incredible because like someone giving me lilies, my favorite flowers, God gives me cirrocumulus clouds, the clouds that look like pebbles sprinkled across the sky. It always puts a smile on my face. He is such an amazing and thoughtful God!

Another thing that God has given me that most people can probably relate to is a group of friends who are actually there for me and care for me unlike the other friends I used to have. Don’t get me wrong, I had like 2 best friends before I knew Jesus but they moved away and we lost touch as the years went by but for the most part, my other “friends” were out for themselves and never really cared anything about me. As I think about it, I still have trouble reaching out to friends nowadays because of the major hurts and hang ups my previous acquaintances put me through. Sometimes I feel like I am getting rejected from time to time and no one reaches out but I also feel like I’m partly to blame for that too because of the walls I put up but I know God is still working on me about this. Also, I will occasionally get a gentle nudging to reach out to my friends, something I’m pretty sure is the Holy Spirit’s prompting.

“But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6

I could go on and on about all the amazing things God has done for me but I just wanted to give some reassurance and some confirmation for those who walk with God and think it pretty cool that these “random” gifts happen from time to time, or at least to give credit where credit is due when they don’t correlate that these pleasant “coincidences” are from their heavenly Father. He is a God who absolutely loves seeing His children smile and it is something He has told me Himself. So, the next time something really good happens to you and it’s something you’ve been thinking about but haven’t asked God for, know it’s from Him and give thanks to Him for He is such a good, good Father!

The Enemy’s Deception vs. God’s Plan

These last couple of years getting to know the Lord (or at least trying to), I have been deceived by the enemy and enticed into doing different things that have completely gotten me off track from the mission God had originally intended for my life on multiple occasions. I have struggled with various addictions, have been misled in different ways, and have been told complete lies by the enemy in my head to make me believe things about myself that aren’t true. Well, not anymore. Today I am going to try and tell you ways to be able to tell when the enemy is deceiving you, what God originally intended for all of us, and how rejection, intentional or not, is a major hindrance in His plan for our lives.

First and foremost, Jesus told us: “The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows].” John 10:10 (AMP). The thief will make you believe things about yourself or God that are just not true. Many times I was led to believe that after I relapsed that God was done with me and that He couldn’t use me anymore. I was also told that He left me, gave up on me, and rejected me because I just couldn’t stop disappointing Him, something else that wasn’t true. (Important note: you can’t disappoint someone who literally knows every single move you will ever make in your entire life.) The enemy has ways that are hard to describe that twist scenarios and leave you at a point where you are so low and in such a deep, dark depression that you can’t possibly see any way out. I remember begging and pleading with God not to leave me. He was silent and I was so depressed and I couldn’t feel His presence. I feel He might have been talking to me but I couldn’t hear Him because I had gotten so deep in sin. (It is harder to hear God after you have received the Holy Spirit when you continue in perpetual sin.) It is very good to have friends who are strong in the Lord when you are struggling with the vices and wiles of the enemy, especially when it has to do with doubting God’s love for you. I would have saved a lot of tears if I had only reached out to friends sooner for words of encouragement or prayer.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you [and approved of you as My chosen instrument], And before you were born I consecrated you [to Myself as My own]; I have appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5. God thinks this about ALL of us, not just the prophet Jeremiah. If we could all grasp this truth and not doubt, life would be so much easier to get through, knowing that God has always wanted to know us, commune with us, and knowing that He personally designed us to do great things in His name. “For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 He never intended for anyone to feel hopeless, lost, depressed, addicted, misled, hurting, angered, anxious, suicidal, etc. but there are evil forces in this world who want nothing more than to send us all on a one way ticket to hell because they HATE the fact that we are made in God’s image and likeness. It is their goal to ensure we never get to live the life God wants us to live: to love Him, love others and serve Him by serving others in our own special way.

The only One who’s approval I need is Yahweh’s and He is the only One that matters and the only One who would never reject me or anyone for that matter. Last night, I broke major ground and started giving some of my testimony to my coworkers about how I used to be and how I don’t do drugs anymore since I met God and actually started to feel like I was high just talking about Him to other people. Some call that being “drunk on the Spirit” but it felt great. Spreading the gospel and making disciples is EVERY “Real” Christian’s main goal. I love the way the Message Translation put it: “Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: “God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20

I don’t know about you, but I am very tired of being a lukewarm Christian, especially with all the world events going on and all the evil in the world that is taking place in our communities and neighborhoods. Evil is anything that sets itself up against the will and ways of God. Evil can be something as small as telling a white lie like Santa Claus being real and something as major as having multiple sexual partners, saying God’s name in vain, addiction, murder, etc. It is time we all take a stand and wake up the people sleeping around us. All we have to do is plant those seeds of truth and just maybe eventually, enough of the truth will wake them up to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. There has been enough telling them about the wrath of God. It is time to start telling them about the love of God and His willingness to forgive every sin and break every chain.

Struggles: My Own Worst Enemy

Have you been struggling recently and made a prison cell of your own bad decisions? Do you feel like God can’t use you because you’ve been struggling so long with addictions, bad thought patterns, spiritual strongholds, etc.? For a very long time, I felt the same way. But there’s good news: as long as you’re still breathing, God isn’t finished with you yet.

Up until recently, I thought God would choose someone else for the task He had assigned to me because I hadn’t been writing like I was in the beginning and I have been having personal struggles with addiction, self worth, depression, spiritual warfare and more. I feel like the Holy Spirit gave me the struggle of Moses as an example and for verification that He doesn’t just go on to the next person.

“O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue. So the Lord said to him, ‘Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind? Have not I, the Lord? Now therefore, go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.’ But he said, ‘O my Lord, please send by the hand of whomever else You may send.’ So the anger of the Lord was kindled against Moses, and He said, ‘Is not Aaron the Levite your brother? I know that he can speak well. And look, he is also coming out to meet you. When he sees you, he will be glad in his heart. Now you shall speak to him and put the words in his mouth. And I will be with your mouth and his mouth, and I will teach you what you shall do. So he shall be your spokesman to the people. And he himself shall be as a mouth for you, and you shall be to him as God…” Exodus: 4: 11-17

Once He chooses you, there’s no going back and if you know God, that’s a wonderful thing because He knows you better than you know yourself. He created each of us for a specific purpose and if you end up not accepting the call, you’ll regret it and remain miserable for the rest of your life. However, Yahweh (God) is always a God who is up for giving some a second chance.

It has been almost 3 years since I started having a relationship with the Holy Spirit. Sometimes, I feel like I have nothing to show for it, but that’s not true. I just have more of a testimony to share with those who after meeting God, became their own worst enemy. I know I’m not the only one who has had struggles after meeting the Holy Spirit and I won’t be the last. I used to think something was wrong with me or I hadn’t even met God at all because everyone else who I have ever known met God and never looked back. I’m the kind of person who learns things the “hard way” as He puts it. Not only that, but doubt that it was even Him to begin with caused a lot of my struggles too. Doubt kills faith. I was lured by the enemy into creating a new addiction shortly after meeting the Holy Spirit, one I had never struggled with before, was attacked spiritually with doubt that led to depression, and more. However, despite the struggles and the prison of doubt, addiction, depression, and hopelessness I had created for myself, God was still able to use me in those times too, which reminds me of the time Joseph was in jail.

“But Adonai was with Joseph, showing him grace and giving him favor in the sight of the prison warden. The prison warden made Joseph supervisor of all the prisoners in the prison; so that whatever they did there, he was in charge of it. The prison warden paid no attention to anything Joseph did, because Adonai was with him; and whatever he did, Adonai prospered.” Genesis 39:21-23

The only one who can get in the way of God accomplishing His purpose in your life is you, though if you seek Him with your whole heart, it will only hinder, not stop, His purpose for your life. He will always pull you out of the pit if you let Him. “He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of miry clay, And set my feet on a rock, and established my steps.” Psalm 40:2. It is about having faith that God is going to do what He sets out to accomplish in your life. It’s also about having the discipline and obedience to do what He tells you to do, to move when he says to move, and to trust Him in everything you do and everything you go through. “Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, As in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, And to heed than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.” 1 Samuel 15:22, 23 The Lord wants obedience above all else and I’ve noticed His still, small voice is less vocal the more obstinate you are about listening to His direction and guidance than when you are walking in His plan and purpose for your life. Sometimes He stays silent to test you and see how you handle certain situations, but I’ve noticed His silence tends to last longer after you have ignored His promptings.

What are you willing to for God and sacrifice so that He can give you a future and a hope?* Are you willing to take up your cross daily and do what He says when He says it? Can you let go of what He says to let go of, especially the guilt and shame you carry for your past mess-ups and forgiving those who have hurt you severely? Are you willing to part with addictions that hinder your ability to live life to the fullest, the one God always had in mind for you? God can help rid you of all of these burdens and make your walk in life significantly better than it was before you came to know Him.* Some things are easier to let go of than others, but with God all things are possible if you would only believe in Him who created the heavens and the earth.*

“For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity…” Jeremiah 29:11-14

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

“Jesus said to him, ‘If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.’” Mark 9:23

Sodom and Gomorrah

Lately, I feel like the Holy Spirit has been leading me to read the Bible from beginning to end. I did not grow up in church and I am familiar with some of the stories but not all of them. It is definitely good to read through the Bible at least once and not just read and stick to the New Testament. I have tried to read the Bible before I knew the Holy Spirit and this book was just a book. Now, the pages are coming alive like never before. I strongly recommend getting a relationship with God by believing in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior so that you can start understanding the spiritual things of the Bible too. The feelings God give you are incredible! The Bible was actually the first place God started communicating with me, through scripture. Whenever I was facing a problem or had a dilemma or question, I would randomly flip through the Bible and land on a page that had something to do with what I was going through and it still happens on occasion too. What I read recently was Genesis 18 and 19 really shook me to my core belief of how I viewed God.

Most people know about God destroying Sodom and Gomorrah but do they know about the conversation God had with Abraham before He destroyed those 2 cities? Probably not. I certainly didn’t.

“Abraham approached and said, ‘Will you actually sweep away the righteous with the wicked? Maybe there are fifty righteous people in the city; will you actually sweep the place away, and not forgive it for the sake of the fifty righteous who are there? Far be it from you to do such a thing – to kill the righteous along with the wicked, so that the righteous and the wicked are treated alike! Far be it from you! Shouldn’t the judge of all the earth do what is just?’ Adonai said, ‘If I find in Sodom fifty who are righteous, then I will forgive the whole place for their sake.’ … He said, ‘I hope Adonai won’t be angry if I speak just once more. What if ten are found there?’ He said, ‘For the sake of ten I won’t destroy it.’” Genesis 18:23-26, 32

Most people think about when Sodom and Gomorrah got destroyed that there might have been a few righteous people who were casualties of His judgement on those cities. If you didn’t, you know the character of God better than I do. This hit me like a ton of bricks and got me to thinking that when He flooded the earth, Noah’s family was literally the only family that was righteous and every other person on the planet was wicked too. “Then the Lord saw the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of man’s heart was only evil continually.” Genesis 6:5 There was no innocent blood shed during any of these cataclysmic events because God is unchanging and His judgements are always righteous and never punishes the righteous with the wicked.

When the angels came to destroy the city, Lot caught the men outside the gate of the city and had them stay with him in his house because he knew how wicked the people there were and didn’t want them to be sodomized and raped by the townspeople. Little did he know, the men/angels weren’t the ones who needed saving; he was. The men, young and old, came to Lot’s house and wanted to have carnal relations with the two men and when Lot tried to defend them, they said they were going to deal with him even worse than the other two men because he was judging them. (Genesis 19:1-11) That to me sounds like they all had totally corrupt, debased minds.

This leads me to wonder that when Yeshua said, “For as were the days of Noah, so also will be the coming of the Son of Man.” Matthew 24:37. Just how bad and corrupt will this world be when He comes back? This leads me to believe that there will be no “casualties” at His second coming either. God spared Noah and his family because he was righteous and also spared Lot and his family too. God is not a God who punishes the righteous, but instead, corrects His children and is extremely patient before He pours out His wrath on the wicked. God is very loving, kind, patient, gentle, understanding and extremely slow to anger. These events must have been very hard for Him to carry out because we are all His children whether we believe it, acknowledge it or know it or not. It’s time to realize that the love of God is more prevalent than the wrath of God throughout all time. Don’t you think it’s about time to set the record straight and show people the love of God while telling them the gospel?

Idolatry

I found out some time ago that an idol is more than just worshipping anything that isn’t God. It is anything that you fill your thoughts and time with to the point of it becoming an obsession or fixation. Merriam Webster defines an idol as an image or representation of a god used as an object of worship or a person or thing that is greatly admired, loved, or revered. God doesn’t want Him to be the only thing you love or think about but He does want to stay at the center of your life and your heart. Did you know that an idol can be a negative thought just as much as it can be a positive thought about someone or something too?

Thinking about something someone has done to you to the point of getting frustrated and riled up is a form of idolatry. No one likes to think about how horrible someone has been to them. God doesn’t want you to continue to mull over being wronged by someone either. He wants us happy and full of joy. That’s why idolizing God is the best person to revere and put your trust in. He is unchanging and will never leave you or let you down. It is very unhealthy and complete folly to place your hopes and dreams in a person who can change their mind in the blink of an eye or pass away suddenly. “The sorrows of those who run after other gods shall suffer more and more…” Psalm 16:4

I recently realized that depression can be a symptom of idolatry. It’s something I have suffered from in the past to the point of being bed ridden for weeks. I would only get up to eat, use the restroom and occasionally shower. I was in so much pain from my friend dying when I was 18 that it completely ruined that part of my life for months. There were friends and family still alive who cared about me but I was so stuck in the loss and didn’t see a way out. I don’t know what broke me out of my depression, but that idolatry was extremely debilitating and I know I’m sure I’m not the only one who has experienced that kind of depression. “Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods.” Galatian 4:8.

Anxiety can also be considered a symptom of idolatry. It is dreading and fixating on future events that may or may not happen. I’ve come to find that it ultimately has to do with not trusting God’s plan or even knowing He has a plan for you in the first place. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Jeremiah 29:11. I used to be on Xanax and Klonopin and still get panic attacks because I was always so fearful of what might happen during any day of the week. I am free in Christ now and don’t suffer from my anxiety anymore. My anxiety still flares up from time to time but doesn’t last long or get unbearable like it used to. All I have to do is talk to God or pray and I feel much better.

God wants you to have hobbies, passions, and people you love. But, when they start to become the center of your heart, that’s when things go wrong and God may start to become jealous like it says in the Old Testament. “You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, Yahweh, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.” Exodus 20:3-6.

After building a relationship with the Holy Spirit, I have come to realize He is so much more loving, patient, kind and better than any other person I’ve known or ever will know. God is worthy of being loved, revered, and idolized. If you don’t believe me, start to seek Him and find out for yourself. Your life will be more fulfilling and you will find more meaning in life than you ever thought possible.

God’s Plan vs. The Enemy’s Deception

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you [and approved of you as My chosen instrument], And before you were born I consecrated you [to Myself as My own]; I have appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5. God thinks this about ALL of us, not just the prophet Jeremiah. If we could all grasp this truth and not doubt, life would be so much easier to get through knowing that God has always wanted to know us, commune with us and knowing that He personally designed us to do great things in His name. “For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 He never intended for anyone to feel hopeless, lost, depressed, addicted, misled, hurting, angered, anxious, suicidal, etc. but there are evil forces in this world who want nothing more than to send us all on a one way ticket to hell because they HATE the fact that we are made in God’s image and likeness. It is their goal to ensure we never get to live the life God wants us to live: to love Him, love others and serve Him by serving others in our own special way.

One of the biggest things that everyone struggles with is rejection, whether you came from a broken home or not. No one likes to be told that someone doesn’t like them, be treated differently than others (in a bad way), be gossiped about, or be excluded from things. The one person who would never reject us is God Almighty and He’s the one person who’s approval we should seek above all others. I used to be a major people pleaser and still struggle with this problem frequently. I’m getting better, but it’s still a struggle because I still have a problem speaking to strangers or people I work with about the gospel. I have this irrational fear that it will upset them and I actually end up upsetting myself because I “chicken out” about it. I keep forgetting that it doesn’t matter if they don’t like me. The only One who’s approval I need is Yahweh’s and He is the only One that matters and the only One who would never reject me or anyone for that matter. Last night, I broke major ground and started giving some of my testimony to my coworkers about how I used to be and how I don’t do drugs anymore since I met God and actually started to feel like I was high just talking about Him to other people. Some call that being “drunk on the Spirit” but it felt great. Spreading the gospel and making disciples is EVERY “Real” Christian’s main goal. I love the way the Message Translation put it: “Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: “God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20