“What Is Love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more…” That song gives a horribly wrong interpretation of what love is. Love was never meant to hurt. It was meant to heal. It was meant to protect and nurture. It was meant to sacrifice and save. It was meant to defend and defy logic. It was meant to know the One who created the heavens and the earth and us and be known by Him. So many people nowadays have lost the idea and the concept of what love really is. Many people have confused love with desire, want with attraction and rather than building a relationship with someone, they rush right in with sex and create a toxic idea of what love is and how it’s supposed to be expressed.

               The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 exactly what love is. It is the character of God. The Passion Translation puts it beautifully:

“Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up.”

               The way the Bible describes it is beautiful and totally encompasses the character or God, because “God is love” as it states in 1 John 4:8. He is gentle and kind without being a pushover. He will never get jealous of someone else’s achievements but will instead celebrate them. God will never condemn you or make you feel ashamed of yourself, even if what He says is correction that cuts to the heart. He is in the conviction business, not the condemnation business. “God is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” (Numbers 14:18) He doesn’t get angry nearly as easily or quickly as the world has made Him out to be. I used to think that anytime I made a mistake, He would be furious with me because of how my earthly father reacted but that’s far from the truth of God’s character. Hollywood movies have also portrayed God to have a short fuse too, and I used to watch a lot of Hollywood movies that brainwashed me. You can’t believe everything you hear, especially if it’s coming from Hollywood.

God loves honesty and people keeping their word and detests it when people do things that are evil, but it doesn’t mean He detests the person or stops loving them. God is a strong tower and a shelter for those who call on Him and take refuge in Him and is always full of hope that everyone will one day come to a knowledge of the truth of who He is and who they are to Him. He never stops fighting for His children, the ones who know Him personally and is always leaving breadcrumbs in the lives of His lost children to find Him. If they really want a relationship with God, they will see the clues and seek Him out for themselves. I used to think that was nonsense and that God wasn’t in every situation, but now having looked back at my past, I see Him in the details.

The world would describe love as an act of sexual intercourse or hooking up with someone because they like you and you like them. Most people say “I love you” without putting any action behind it. The term love is taken way too loosely nowadays, and most people walk around with a skewed and distorted version of what it truly means. But love is sacrificial at times. Love doesn’t seek its own. However, that doesn’t mean that you should just completely disregard your needs above everyone else’s. There must be balance. Self-love is important too. You cannot love your neighbor as yourself if you are neglecting to take care of yourself first. You take care of yourself by making sure your basic needs are met, which includes spending time with Abba in the secret place. It also includes making sure that you have slept enough, ate enough and have enough money to take care of yourself. Sometimes God will ask you to look out for others’ needs above your own comfort, but He doesn’t expect that of you all the time and it really shouldn’t be done like that unless you are being led by the Holy Spirit.

               Love is complicated yet simple at the same time. It is easy to understand when you talk about it and most people would agree unanimously that 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is an accurate description of what love is. The only problem is acting on it. I have found for me that it’s almost impossible for me to walk in love if I’m not abiding in God’s love first. Some people are naturally loving but I am not. My childhood left me shell-shocked and traumatized and my adulthood did too, but when I am abiding in Christ and walking in the Spirit, it’s almost like none of what I went through matters. My old nature takes a back seat, and my new nature takes the wheel and bursts forth.

“Now, if anyone is enfolded into Christ, he has become an entirely new person. All that is related to the old order has vanished. Behold, everything is fresh and new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

               However, there are times when someone triggers me from an old trauma or an event triggers me and it causes me to react like the old me. This is where the Holy Spirit comes in and helps to heal those areas so that I don’t continue to act like the old me would. Sometimes, I am also completely at a loss for what to say and that is an important time to practice silence because it’s better not to say something than say something stupid or hurtful.

               With the help of the Holy Spirit, walking in love and being love is more than possible. Knowing that you are loved and accepted by the One who created the heavens and the earth makes loving people like Jesus loved people just a little bit easier. Without Him to lead me onward, I would be lost and would most definitely not respond in a loving way like I’m learning to do now. Abba’s love has helped me live better, act better, and feel better. He can and will do the same for you. All you have to do is surrender to His love.