I have been looking at something that I have had a problem with in the past and have truly been wondering what makes something a fleshly desire. I believe God has taken me on this journey to show me how something that doesn’t start out as a fleshly desire can become one and then that fleshly desire soon turns into sin, because it takes the place of God and becomes an idol. The thing that I have had a problem figuring out is a substance called kratom, something that I believe God told me He put on this earth to help people with pain, but only acute pain and was never intended to be taken long term. Truly, any substance that produces a feeling of euphoria has the potential for abuse, like alcohol, weed, or pain killers.  

Fleshly desires cause you to feel disconnected from God, even though He is still right there. It will get you further away from the frequency it takes to hear the Holy Spirit. They cause you to be full of fear instead of full of faith. What might start out as something innocent becomes something that makes you question your identity in Christ. That is around the time that you should be praying to God for help to get you off it and He will deliver you. “I sought the LORD, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:3. I have had a bit of a rough time in dealing with this particular substance because unlike most others, this is one that you can function on easily without feeling overly intoxicated, like alcohol or marijuana. God also showed me while taking kratom that there are a lot of people who are struggling to get off it. I talked to one person who took it for 8 years straight. That is a long time to be on anything.

God has shown me that people are easily swayed to continue doing something that feels good and even continue doing it when it doesn’t. This is very dangerous because kratom is particularly bad on your liver and kidneys, something most people aren’t aware of until it’s too late. And as if that is not bad enough, once you stop taking it, you experience withdrawals likened to coming off heroin, but not nearly as bad (I have come off both). To top it off, your brain has a hard time producing dopamine the way it used to. For me, that’s not been such a big deal because I have God in my life and I truly believe He fixed my brain so that I didn’t feel that, except for the first couple of weeks coming off kratom when I had stayed on it for 6 months.

The devil will try and convince you to get back on it if you are a child of God and will take out his heaviest arsenal, making you question God talking to you, giving you horrible anxiety and depression. Sometimes the attacks are unrelenting. However, I have come to find that when I meditate on God’s word and remember Isaiah 26:3: “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.”  The enemy is good at putting bad thoughts in your head and making it seem like those thoughts are your thoughts. You must come into your identity and remember who you are and WHO’s you are… A Child of the KING of Kings. The Lord loves His children and if you ask Him for anything without wavering on Him answering, He will answer you. His guidance can also offer a way of escaping from the situation. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be temptedbeyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

And when I tell you that the devil is good at making you forget, I mean he’s cunning and gives you spiritual amnesia. He puts a spirit of confusion on you and makes you forget about your interactions with God, almost like you haven’t spoken to God in ages, when in fact, you have. God has been having me write things down as proof that I have spoken to Him and it has helped me tremendously remember things, although I still freak out for a little bit until I remember to look. Everyone has times where their faith wavers, but when you have indulged in fleshly desires, sometimes it really wages war against your soul. “Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;”1 Peter 2:11

On this journey with God, I have pondered why a fleshly lust is so detrimental and towards the end of It, I have seen it makes you question yourself in Christ. Also, I see it makes you feel so awkward mentally and makes you question whether God loves you or not. At least that has been the case for me.

This certain fleshly desire to kratom has shown me just how weak-minded certain substances make people in the long run. We were never meant to feel weak like that. We are children of God and are meant to feel empowered because He made us in HIS IMAGE AND HIS LIKENESS. By that definition, we are not weak by any means when we walk the path He has for us. Withdrawing from it made me feel so full of fear and anxious because it affected my limbic system badly, and that is only using on and off for 2 months. I can’t even imagine what it would feel like quitting it after doing it for years. It felt like the gates of hell were going to prevail against me, the fear was so bad.

It doesn’t matter what your fleshly desire is, whatever it is: money, power, fame, substances, gossiping etc. There is always a mountain you have to climb to get to your next high. You must continue to increase whatever desire you have to find contentment, but at the end of the day, nothing will give you fulfillment like walking in the life God has called you to. You can and do live in a constant state of joy and peace, within reason, but almost to the point that circumstances that would undo most people don’t phase you like it phases others. What the world calls foolishness, God calls wisdom and what the world calls wisdom and satisfaction, God calls foolishness.

 A lot of people are going to think that this wasn’t God, but I truly know that it was because he told me to stop a few weeks before I stopped. He told me to stop when it was about to become a fleshly desire, staying within the confines of His word. I have to say now that I noticed when it shifted from not being a desire of the flesh to being one and then there was a certain point where He said that from that day forward, it would be considered sin. God didn’t want me to experience this level of intensity on the withdrawals mentally and emotionally, but I know now that a fleshly desire is something that comes in all forms. It is not just a substance that makes you feel something, but it is anything that has the ability to become an idol or an unrighteous act. It starts out innocent but gets worse over time. Be advised that these things will hurt you and God wants nothing but the best for His children.

Pray and ask God if there is anything in your life that has a stronghold on you and needs to be removed and see what He says. He will lead you out of it. All you need to do is repent, turn towards Him, and ask Him for help. Once He tells you what to do, you must listen and obey what He tells you, otherwise you will stay where you were.