“Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth: And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away…But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy received it; Yet hath he not root in himself but endured for a while: for when tribulation and persecution arises because of the word, by and by he is offended.”

Matthew 13: 5, 6, 20, 21

I have been trying to follow Christ (very poorly) for about 4 years now, but it’s time for a change. It is time to rise up out of the ashes of my mistakes and stop being afraid of what other people think of me or if God has my back or not. There are times when I feel so strong in the Lord and I’m full of joy because everything is going right. Then, there are other times when I am so depressed and angry because of Murphy’s Law of everything that can go wrong does go wrong in overdrive, but these bad things are trials sent to test my faith and I am just now seeing it crystal clear for the first time.

I am tired of the highs and lows because the bible says to “rejoice in tribulations” (Romans 5:3). I have yet to master that art because of the stony heart that I have grown accustomed to having, but that stops here. Rejoice also means glory in the King James Version and the definition of that means “to take great pride or pleasure in.” How can one take pleasure in pain? By focusing on the fact that God is testing you and shaping you more and more into His image and likeness.

“Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brethren throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you. To Him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.”           1 Peter 5: 6-11

 Peter really knew what he was talking about. It seems like every time I get through a trial or tribulation, I look back and realize why God did let these bad things happen. I need to have a better attitude from now on and trust God to see me through to the other side. I know now that the pain and trouble won’t last but like most people, it’s easy to get in our feelings and our flesh and become angry and offended that God would allow such horrible things to happen. But it’s for our good. ALL OF IT! “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28. Every single time, I have always felt bad for not trusting Him because He has always come in clutch for me. I have likened the breadcrumbs of His Presence and His Ways that He has left to be like puzzle pieces fitting together or a zipper zipping up with how precise and fitting all the bad things align up to bring out something good. I haven’t written in months because my tablet screen broke and then out of nowhere, my stepdad got a laptop because my daughter wanted one. God knew that I couldn’t afford one right away and made a way for me to start writing again.

“For I consider [from the standpoint of faith] that the sufferings of the present life are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is about to be revealed to us and in us!” (Romans 8:18). We must stop thinking that God doesn’t have a plan for all the bad things that happen or for the intentional trials He puts us through to test our faith. Not only that, but sometimes, He will let it get bad to push you back towards something that He has been asking you to do all along, because He knows that you’ll find peace and joy in it, whether it be writing, seeking His face, reading His word, etc.

It’s time to take our stony hearts and let the Holy Spirit repurpose them into hearts of flesh that are full of the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, temperance. (Galatians 5: 22, 23)

“A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall seek my judgements, and do them.” Ezekiel 36:26, 27