Have you been struggling recently and made a prison cell of your own bad decisions? Do you feel like God can’t use you because you’ve been struggling so long with addictions, bad thought patterns, spiritual strongholds, etc.? For a very long time, I felt the same way. But there’s good news: as long as you’re still breathing, God isn’t finished with you yet.

Up until recently, I thought God would choose someone else for the task He had assigned to me because I hadn’t been writing like I was in the beginning and I have been having personal struggles with addiction, self worth, depression, spiritual warfare and more. I feel like the Holy Spirit gave me the struggle of Moses as an example and for verification that He doesn’t just go on to the next person.

“O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue. So the Lord said to him, ‘Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind? Have not I, the Lord? Now therefore, go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.’ But he said, ‘O my Lord, please send by the hand of whomever else You may send.’ So the anger of the Lord was kindled against Moses, and He said, ‘Is not Aaron the Levite your brother? I know that he can speak well. And look, he is also coming out to meet you. When he sees you, he will be glad in his heart. Now you shall speak to him and put the words in his mouth. And I will be with your mouth and his mouth, and I will teach you what you shall do. So he shall be your spokesman to the people. And he himself shall be as a mouth for you, and you shall be to him as God…” Exodus: 4: 11-17

Once He chooses you, there’s no going back and if you know God, that’s a wonderful thing because He knows you better than you know yourself. He created each of us for a specific purpose and if you end up not accepting the call, you’ll regret it and remain miserable for the rest of your life. However, Yahweh (God) is always a God who is up for giving some a second chance.

It has been almost 3 years since I started having a relationship with the Holy Spirit. Sometimes, I feel like I have nothing to show for it, but that’s not true. I just have more of a testimony to share with those who after meeting God, became their own worst enemy. I know I’m not the only one who has had struggles after meeting the Holy Spirit and I won’t be the last. I used to think something was wrong with me or I hadn’t even met God at all because everyone else who I have ever known met God and never looked back. I’m the kind of person who learns things the “hard way” as  He puts it. Not only that, but doubt that it was even Him to begin with caused a lot of my struggles too. Doubt kills faith. I was lured by the enemy into creating a new addiction shortly after meeting the Holy Spirit, one I had never struggled with before, was attacked spiritually with doubt that led to depression, and more. However, despite the struggles and the prison of doubt, addiction, depression, and hopelessness I had created for myself, God was still able to use me in those times too, which reminds me of the time Joseph was in jail.

“But Adonai was with Joseph, showing him grace and giving him favor in the sight of the prison warden. The prison warden made Joseph supervisor of all the prisoners in the prison; so that whatever they did there, he was in charge of it. The prison warden paid no attention to anything Joseph did, because Adonai was with him; and whatever he did, Adonai prospered.” Genesis 39:21-23

The only one who can get in the way of God accomplishing His purpose in your life is you, though if you seek Him with your whole heart, it will only hinder, not stop, His purpose for your life. He will always pull you out of the pit if you let Him. “He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of miry clay, And set my feet on a rock, and established my steps.” Psalm 40:2.  It is about having faith that God is going to do what He sets out to accomplish in your life. It’s also about having the discipline and obedience to do what He tells you to do, to move when he says to move, and to trust Him in everything you do and everything you go through. “Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, As in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, And to heed than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry.” 1 Samuel 15:22, 23 The Lord wants obedience above all else and I’ve noticed His still, small voice is less vocal the more obstinate you are about listening to His direction and guidance than when you are walking in His plan and purpose for your life. Sometimes He stays silent to test you and see how you handle certain situations, but I’ve noticed His silence tends to last longer after you have ignored His promptings.

              What are you willing to for God and sacrifice so that He can give you a future and a hope?* Are you willing to take up your cross daily and do what He says when He says it? Can you let go of what He says to let go of, especially the guilt and shame you carry for your past mess-ups and forgiving those who have hurt you severely? Are you willing to part with addictions that hinder your ability to live life to the fullest, the one God always had in mind for you? God can help rid you of all of these burdens and make your walk in life significantly better than it was before you came to know Him.* Some things are easier to let go of than others, but with God all things are possible if you would only believe in Him who created the heavens and the earth.*

“For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity…” Jeremiah 29:11-14

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

“Jesus said to him, ‘If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.’” Mark 9:23