I don’t think there is a person who can hurt a person more and cut more deeply than that of a spouse or a significant other being unfaithful. It is a rejection and betrayal that trumps all others. The Holy Spirit confirmed for me today that old wounds from my ex fiancé had been truly healed after getting confirmation of him cheating on me years ago with who was supposedly supposed to be my best friend. I had a friend who had been going through the same thing and my heart immediately went back to that time and place but rather than thinking about how much I was hurt by my ex, I instead remembered what that pain felt like and was hurting for her because she was going through the same thing with her husband. It was bitter sweet because I knew God had truly healed the hurt my ex had caused me back then. Instead, my heart hurt for my friend because I knew exactly how she felt and how broken she was because I was the same way after my relationship had ended. “Even my best friend, the one I trusted completely, the one who shared my food, has turned against me.” Psalm 41:9

There is major freedom in Christ when it comes to Him healing your hearts and asking you to forgive those who wronged you in the past. I thought I would never get over that pain but today I realized beyond a shadow of a doubt that I had truly forgiven him and part of the pieces that he had broken in me had truly been healed by God. “The Lord nurses them when they are sick and restores them to health.” Psalm 41:3 I grieved and cried with my friend today, not because of the major empathy I had for her going through almost the same situation I did. Just like my situation with my ex, the situation with her husband had been going on for years and the Bible even covers on that as well: “Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” Proverbs 17:9.

           Infidelity is probably the worse sin a husband and wife can commit against one another. “But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys himself.” Proverbs 6:32 Not only that, but it’s a major sin against God too. “Run away from sexual immorality [in any form, whether thought or behavior, whether visual or written.]Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the one who is sexually immoral sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is within you, whom you have [received as a gift] from God, and that you are not your own [property]? You were bought with a price [you were actually purchased with the precious blood of Jesus and made His own]. So, then, honor and glorify God with your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18-20. You create a soul tie to anyone you have sex with and that soul tie can give you an unhealthy attachment to whoever you fool around with and make you blind to the true nature of that person. So, if you have sex with someone or multiple people out of wedlock, you create soul ties to every single person you’ve slept with and only God has the power to break those soul ties, which is why God gave us the rule of one man for one woman and one woman for one man in the confines of the wedding bed.

Defiling the marriage bed causes major repercussions and consequences in a person’s life that cannot be undone without the help of the Holy Spirit. “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” Hebrews 13:4 There is also the mental and emotional scars that infidelity causes in a marriage. It breaks the person who was cheated on to the point they don’t trust themselves anymore or even God, which was my case and still is to a certain extent. I used to be so sure of myself but after my relationship with my ex, I don’t trust myself and it has been a long road of healing with God to help me learn to trust myself again. When God came into my life, I felt like a shell of the person I once was and the craziest thing is my ex never admitted that he cheated on me, but I always knew in my heart that he was cheating when he didn’t come home at night or when I would confront him about it.

God has given me multiple signs in the last couple of years upon me inquiring about his unfaithfulness for my own healing. The most recent one was today when my friend told me about what had been happening to her. I asked God last week to give me a sign that my ex had cheated on me with my best friend because the Holy Spirit had just healed me from that hurt and upon hearing my friend’s story, I knew it was the sign that I had asked God for, which felt so relieving but bittersweet because that meant I was right and not crazy like I kept getting told I was. If you get told you’re crazy long enough, you start to believe it.

My hurts from my relationship have taken a toll for the better because not only have I forgiven him but I can help my friend through the transition of forgiving her soon to be ex husband. I can’t do the actual healing, only God can, but what I can do is be there for her to relate my experience and lead her towards the Holy Spirit who can and will heal all her wounds when she is ready to forgive and surrender. Not forgiving my ex has been why I have had such major writer’s block but I hope now that I can start writing every day and sooner than later start writing a book that has to do with my testimony from drug abuse, alcohol abuse, mental and emotional abuse to true freedom in Christ. God is so good and I’m ready to share it with the world!

(FYI, you cannot change a man or woman who is abusive whether it be physically, emotionally, or mentally. ONLY God can and I strongly recommend if you are in an abusive relationship, get out while you can because it will only get worse as time goes by. Please be safe out there.)